Embracing the ANDs (or, what I’ve learned in three years of sobriety)

This past year, my third in sobriety, taught me a lot.

(ICYMI, I shared my recovery story in a post that you can find here.)

Most of all, it’s been about learning to embrace that most parts of life aren’t either-or, black-and-white. It’s all about the ANDs, baby.

So, before I celebrate my sober birthday tonight with ginger fried rice and ice cream, here are some of the biggest ANDs I’ve finally surrendered to over the last year. Maybe you can relate?

• I can handle a lot, and I can’t do it alone.
• I need to fucking meditate every day, and it’s hard to fucking meditate every day.
• I absolutely, one hundred percent cannot change anyone else, and I don’t need to in order to be okay.
• I need mentors and teachers to keep growing and healing, and I can trust my instincts when someone’s style or price or methods feel off to me.
• I will never “accept” that harm-doers often escape accountability (after all, our systems are designed to protect them), and I can tend to my grief and trauma while channeling my energy toward making a difference.
• Staying sober and awake is the easier, softer path for me, and life is still messy and painful and very, very human at times.

Are there some ANDs that you’re chewing on lately, or that you’ve embraced on your own journey? I’d love to hear about them if you want to comment.